The Becoming
by D-chan
Summary: Sanzo x Goku, hinted Gojyo x Hakkai :: language, shounen ai, yaoi, violence :: His limiter being knocked off was set up to look like an accident, but in reality... [COMPLETE]
1. Chapter One

**:: The Becoming ::**

_Gensomaden__ Saiyuki_

Disclaimer: I don't own Gensomaden Saiyuki, which rightfully belongs to Minekura Kazuya.

Rating: PG-13

Pairings: Sanzo/Goku, hinted Gojyo/Hakkai

Warnings: language, eventual shounen ai/yaoi, some violence

Notes: Started because of a dream I had, and somehow turned into a yaoi fic by the end. O.o; Darn. ^^; I hope it doesn't ruin the fic _too_ badly…

There are actually a lot of categories I wanted to put this under, but I eventually just went with the two strongest. x.x; Damn multi-category fics of mine… Please keep in mind this fic isn't intended to focus on the demon, but the events around it. (Which is basically my excuse for not going into great detail on it. ^^;;)

Constructive criticism and feedback appreciated.

_Chapter One_

At the time their first priority had been to stop, restock on supplies, and eat. The first two had been easily accomplished, but the last was always harder simply because of the ruckus that always took place amidst eating. Several gunshots, thwacks, shouts, and curses resounded during each mealtime. It wasn't exactly peaceful, though today was relatively peaceful in comparison to other evenings-- so far no one had been shot at and Goku had only been whacked with the infamous paper fan once.

Finding lodgings for the night was usually their second priority. However, this village hadn't exactly had the best reputation as of late, and Sanzo in particular was reluctant to stay. After all, the villagers were having troubles with a local demon, one that had no ties with Kougaiji whatsoever. Why bother staying and getting involved?

His reasoning, though selfish and a bit twisted, was sensible. They would have left right away-- had it not been for the sudden downpour.

The four stood in the rain for a few moments, trying to comprehend what had just happened. Gojyo was the first to break the silence.

"Shit! It just put out my cigarette!"

The curse seemed to break the dam, because then Goku started to complain about the wet and Hakkai was calmly reasoning that they didn't have much choice but to stay the night. Sanzo was reluctant, but he was even more reluctant to travel in the rain-- in fact, he loathed the idea.

That was how they ended up there, staying in a village they didn't want to be in, ensconced in separate rooms, attempting to fall asleep but having difficulties for various reasons.

While the sound of rain against the window was soothing in its rhythmic manner, it was also disquieting. Hakkai had trouble lying down and relaxing-- in fact, he had trouble just relaxing. He kept himself occupied by petting Hakuryuu, and the dragon seemed to appreciate the attention. Absently, the man ran his fingers down the creature's prickly spine, his gaze fixed outside. The glass seemed to be showing him rivers, rivers that slowly sank into a deep crimson colour until all he saw was blood. He stared hazily, his eyes growing unfocused. Almost dreamily he reached out to touch the glass, wondering if the blood would feel as thick and smell as coppery as it should.

The contact of cold glass on his skin jolted him back to reality. With a sigh and a rhetorical, "What am I doing?" he turned away. Green eyes refocused. He was no longer dreamy, but now tired and weary. Some things simply refused to go away. It was one of those times he wished he could wipe the memories clean from the slate, but deep down he already knew that would only complicate things for him.

Then again, who's to say any of them had ever led a simple life?

Across the hall, one room was filled with the scent of burning tobacco. In this room, another person was gazing out the window, only his glare was cold, hard, and violet. There was nothing hazy in the lines of his face, nothing to indicate that there was a dreamy quality about him. Even at his most relaxed he would unintentionally give off the feeling that he was not one to be crossed. Not everyone could interpret these vibes, of course; some were too stupid or blind.

There were some things he just didn't want to deal with. The rain was the first thing; right now, the second being the village's problem. It was relatively small as far as most villages went, the type of place where word got around fast. (Thankfully, it was also one of the few that didn't realize he was the legendary priest Sanzo.) He didn't want to be caught up with a demon that had nothing to do with them or the random assassins that still liked to pop up from time to time. From the stories he had heard, this demon had no interest outside of thrill killing.

All the more the reason Sanzo wanted to get out as fast as possible. If someone _did_ find out who or what they were before then, he would inevitably be coerced into doing the village's dirty work. Really, it was none of his concern. He just wanted to move on as quickly as possible.

In the room next door, another man seemed to share the same thoughts-- and the same smoking habits. Gojyo was stretched out on the bed, putting out his last cigarette for the night. Then again, that had been his resolution for the cigarettes before that, and the one before that. Damn the chain smoker in him.

Oh well. He lit another one, taking advantage of the time and space to just think. Without the annoying monkey around he could do this without being taunted and distracted.

According to what snippets of conversation he had overheard, people had been murdered in their sleep nightly in the past two weeks. In such a small town it was bound to be noticed by everyone; if it kept up the way it did (two kills a night, at most) then the populace of this place was going rapidly die out. That was a problem-- to the village. Gojyo admittedly did feel bad for them, but what could they do? The demon had nothing to do with them, and anyway it was such a tiny little place that no one else in the world would notice if the entire town died.

That was what he kept telling himself, and that was what he was determined to believe. Any further attachments to the situation wouldn't be a good idea, and despite all appearances, Gojyo wasn't that stupid.

Two doors down, one boy was characteristically fidgeting as he lay in bed, trying to find a comfortable position to sleep in. He had shed his day clothes earlier, now lying in nothing but shorts and a t-shirt, staring at the ceiling as his foot bounced restlessly upon his knee. His ever-curious nature demanded that he think when a problem was presented to him, and against his will he was doing just that. For example, why was it women and children were always killed first? Actually, he had wondered this before, and upon askance Hakkai had explained that women and children were, supposedly, the frailer creatures of the human race. Goku hadn't understood. To him, strength was strength and weakness was weakness. Who was to say a certain part of mankind was weaker just because of how old or what gender they were?

That was when Sanzo had called his way of thinking simple-minded, whacked him on the head, and changed the subject. It had driven the questions from Goku's head at the time, but now he was remembering them, wondering about the strangeness of people even more. The murderer in this town seemed particularly fond of killing young women, occasionally teenage boys.

Goku felt his heart twist. His mind told him that Sanzo would disapprove of this thinking, but he couldn't help but wish they could somehow help these people. In the long run, he knew it wouldn't benefit them or their journey-- it may even hurt it. Still, he wanted to do _something_. He eventually shed this train of thought, drifting into an uneasy sleep.

The town was cloaked in trembling darkness. In their beds, children would quiver with fear, helplessly wondering and wishing that the demon wouldn't come after them. Mothers prayed for their families. Fathers drank until they passed out, many unable to find any other way to handle the situation. Those sober sat up for much of the night, armed and prepared to defend their families if need be. Young women curled beneath their blankets, some crying in fear. Young men sat with their best weapon at their side -- a pole, a heavy piece of furniture, anything -- ready to fight in a moment's notice. It was a tense night, and ever so slowly did it fall reluctantly into sleep.

Sanzo never did figure out what had awakened him, but later when he had the chance to sit back and reflect, he would be grateful for whatever it was. He had been asleep, his gun hidden beneath the thick covers and within arm's reach should he need it. The covers concealed his weapon, provided simply because winter drew near and the nights could become unbearably chilly. Here they served him well.

Whatever had awoken him made him tense. He quickly told himself to relax; he wouldn't be able to move quickly if his muscles were locked up. The coldness of the Smith & Wesson radiated; he wasn't touching the metal, but he could feel it millimeters within his reach. There was no sound in the room. The faint creak he heard could have just been the building settling, but those sounds tended to come from the walls, not from the middle of the room.

There was the softest _swish_, indicating that the enemy was ready to strike. Sanzo waited a moment, ears straining for even the softest breath.

The moment he heard the almost inaudible sound of someone sucking in air, he moved.

For a human, his reflexes were commendable. Sanzo's hand shot out for the gun. At the same time he launched upward; common sense told him that he wouldn't be able to shoot the intruder before he brought the gun to the bastard's head, and that he wouldn't be able to shoot at all if his head was dissevered from his shoulders. Long nails tore the mattress where his torso had just been. He heard a dark, rough curse. All that could be made out in the darkness was a silhouette darting for the shadows. He cocked the gun, firing off a single round, but the only sound he heard in return was the bullet hitting wood and plaster. He'd missed.

He knew the gunshot would have roused his companions. Narrowing his eyes, Sanzo tried to adjust to the dark, straining to make out more than just shadows.

He almost missed the flicker in front of him. Ducking to the right proved to be the best way to go; had he gone left, the claws surely would have pierced his gut rather than simply graze his side. A snarl fell from his lips, one not unlike a demon's. Sanzo fired two more rounds. Dimly he heard shouting, but it was muffled and outside. There was a crash; the floor seemed to tremble beneath him.

"_Sanzo!_"

Both occupants of the room froze. Sanzo had his gun pointed toward the demon, aimed at the general vicinity between a pair of opaque eyes. His side burned furiously, but he couldn't afford to pay it any mind.

Something slammed into the door. The demon bolted, crashing through the tightly shut window. He probably rolled, but Sanzo didn't see it. He was transfixed in his spot, his breathing heavier than it should have been. Cold chills washed over him, rolling to the floor as the adrenaline high wore off. Once he had full control of his limbs, Sanzo strode to the door, opening it just as someone came hurtling forward. There was a brief glimpse of a surprised expression, then another crash as something solid and heavy hit the floor.

"_Ow__!_ Geez!"

"Are you all right?"

"God damn it, what was all the noise for? Can't you get a silencer for that thing?"

"Those cost money and are hard to find besides. Shut your damn mouth."

It took a few minutes for the initial excitement to calm down. Once Goku was certain his keeper was all right, Hakkai had tended Sanzo's minor wound, and Gojyo had lit another cigarette, silence fell over the group. All four understood what had happened even without having to talk about it. Judging from the broken window, the severe lack of blood or other gruesome body fluids, and the loud noises, Sanzo had been attacked by the demon and hadn't been able to kill him.

Once Sanzo had gotten a hold of his own cigarettes, Gojyo asked the obvious question. "Well, now what?"

Sanzo waited until he had inhaled some nicotine, allowing the drug to further calm his nerves. "Obviously," he said, his voice low and carrying a deadly edge. "We'll have to stick around a bit longer until we can kill the bastard."

"Gee, you're so noble once your life is threatened."

Sanzo narrowed one eye in a glare. "One shouldn't expect to attack me and escape with their life. I'm taking him out, with or without you."

"Well, of course we're going to help," Hakkai said, eyebrows raised slightly as though surprised. Most likely it was feigned... or he just enjoyed putting on random expressions. "It would be horribly difficult to continue the Sanbutsushin's journey without their servant boy to guide us along the way."

Goku shot him a puzzled look, obviously missing the light teasing. "But we're just going west."

Despite the sudden tension in his arm, Sanzo decided to ignore both comments. He scowled at the window; the floor was getting all wet and the rain hadn't let up one bit. This was, altogether, not a pleasant night.

"I'm going to report the damages to the manager," he said flatly, with the tone of someone acting very reluctantly. "Everything else can wait till morning-- and _you_ are coming with me," he snapped, delivering a sharp whack to Goku's head before the boy could leave with the other two.

Goku rubbed the sore spot on his head. "Why me?" he whined.

"Never mind that. Let's go."

Sighing heavily, Goku resigned himself to the order and hurried after the priest. In a way, he was actually relieved Sanzo had told him to come with. It was silly, but even now his heartbeat hadn't completely slowed down. The gunshots had terrified him into waking, and even before he was stumbling out of bed, blindly groping for the door, he knew that Sanzo was in trouble. It was a feeling he had often but never got used to; a prickling sensation that made his entire body tingle at once, a faint whisper in the back of his head, quiet alarms that sounded as loud as earth-shattering screams.

And now... now he was going to stick close to Sanzo as long as the man would allow. No one was allowed to hurt his sun, and despite all he said, Goku was more than willing to jump in if the monk's life was in jeopardy.

Sanzo stopped in the middle of the staircase, causing the boy to nearly collide with him. A piercing violet glare was sent his way. "Stop thinking so loudly. Idiot."

"Sorry."

The next hour was filled with arguing, accusations, and a whole string of unpleasant words on the innkeeper's part. Goku kept unusually silent throughout the whole escapade, half asleep and half pondering as he watched Sanzo keep an amazing hold on his patience. Strange; a complete stranger had a harder time annoying him than anyone close to him... but perhaps that was because the latter simply knew which buttons to push.

Goku closed his eyes. He was tired, but he couldn't afford to drift off now. Somewhere the demon lurked, somewhere close. Goku could smell him, but couldn't place the scent. He could hear him, but couldn't pinpoint the sound. Sometimes he was sure he could see him through the walls, but of course the walls were solid and impenetrable by gaze alone.

And somehow he simply knew that this demon wasn't going to be a pushover like the rest.


	2. Chapter Two

**:: The Becoming ::**

_Gensomaden__ Saiyuki_

Disclaimer: I don't own Gensomaden Saiyuki, which rightfully belongs to Minekura Kazuya.

Rating: PG-13

Pairings: Sanzo/Goku, hinted Gojyo/Hakkai

Warnings: language, eventual shounen ai/yaoi, some violence

Notes: Thanks to everyone that's reviewed so far. They are muchly appreciated. I don't normally address reviewers in my notes (well, not lately) but in response to Destiny's Light's question—this is going to have six parts to it. For once, I've written everything before I've posted it. ^^;

Have been listening to Mariah Carey lately and somehow got an idea for a Dougan-fic, so I'm more working on that than anything else. Mariah Carey has a really lovely voice; I never tire listening to it, even if it's been a while since I put her whole playlist on repeat. ^^;; It'd be so shiny to make music videos with her music…

Oh yeah—I also finally saw episodes 19-22 recently. YAY! Seiten Taisei! XD Episode 22 is my new favourite and makes me even more happy that I wrote this fic.

Constructive criticism and feedback is always appreciated. Thanks.

_Chapter Two_

In the end, it turned out there was a good reason Sanzo had Goku come along with him. As the blonde had suspected, the inn was full. Holidays were drawing near, so many people were either visiting families or traveling on their way to visit families. Sanzo spent the rest of the night in Goku's room and was gone by the time the boy had woken up.

Goku wasn't unsettled by the discovery. Nothing felt out of the ordinary; Sanzo was an early riser, even when he hadn't had much sleep. The longest time he slept was when he was out cold for days on end, otherwise he only got a few hours of sleep a night. Stretching languidly, Goku decided to take a quick shower before getting dressed.

By the time he was down for breakfast, the others were halfway done with theirs. Sanzo seemed to have finished, but he was still working on a cup of coffee as he read the newspaper. If he noted Goku's arrival, he made no indication to show it. Hakkai, however, greeted him pleasantly enough, and Gojyo started their first fight of the day by making a move for the last of the sausage.

Goku had half a pork bun worked into his mouth when Sanzo set down his cup so suddenly and loudly it made him start. The monk didn't look at any of his companions, preferring to keep his gaze on his fingers still curled around the handle of his mug. Calmly, bluntly, he said, "One other was killed last night."

No one seemed sure how to react to that. At last, Gojyo said, "Yeah, and?"

"Just something to note."

"Was there anything unusual about them?" Hakkai asked with familiar calm. Though his movements were fluid and relaxed, his visible eye was hard and focused.

Sanzo took another gulp of coffee before responding. "Same as the others. Young woman, fairly good-looking, surprisingly pretty clean death." He meant surprisingly because most murderers that killed for fun would enjoy tearing up a body, inflicting torture upon the victim. The victims here had been killed with one stroke, one vicious, messy stab through the heart. Unless there was a struggle, no further harm was done to them.

Goku finished off his bun, unperturbed. Very few things could quell his appetite, and gruesome details certainly wasn't one of them. Besides, one learned to grow used to it after living with Sanzo for so long. The man didn't soften anything, delivering his blows at their hardest.

Gojyo swore beneath his hand, glaring at the wall as though to blame it for the issue. "Another woman? What's with these sexist demons anyway?"

"Don't forget, Sanzo was attacked last night. Some young men have been killed as well," Hakkai pointed out.

"Sounds like he's going for the pretty ones, then," Goku commented off-handedly, making a grab for the last meat bun.

Gojyo shot him a skeptical look, and Goku didn't understand why until he said, "Are you saying he went after Sanzo because he's _pretty_?"

A loud click caused all but Hakkai to flinch. "Just what the hell is that supposed to mean?" Sanzo snarled, looking ready to put a bullet between Gojyo's ears. If there was one thing Gojyo knew Sanzo hated, it was being called pretty or effeminate in any way. That was the only reason Gojyo seemed keen on using the insult every so often; too often was testing Sanzo's patience too much, even for him.

Before Goku could answer -- and really, he wasn't sure what to say to that anyway -- Hakkai said, "Now, now, let's just think a moment. All we want to do is get rid of this guy so we can continue on our merry way in the morning. Correct?"

At last, Sanzo lowered the gun and tucked it back into his robes. "As soon as possible, preferably." Gojyo's sigh of relief was quickly stifled.

"Damn it; the demon only comes out at night," he argued. "What the hell are we supposed to do until then? Hunt him down?"

"Too bothersome," Sanzo answered automatically. "We should think of a plan. Something. Anything that works."

"At this point, a full-out, obvious attack may be best," Hakkai said.

"Kind of hard to surprise the surpriser, huh?" Gojyo tapped the table, impatient to step out for a smoke. Much to his and Sanzo's annoyance, the innkeeper wouldn't have any of that in his dining area.

Hakkai shook his head. "We just don't have a good enough idea of how he'll attack."

Goku listened attentively to the conversation but was lacking anything to add to it. Besides, he didn't mind listening so long as he could keep his mouth busy by eating. He still hadn't finished his breakfast-- and it gave him the opportunity to snatch whatever Gojyo was too distracted to grab at first.

When his opinion was needed or wanted, they would let him know. If they said something he didn't agree with or got confused by, he would let them know. Until then, he was far too busy with other things and half distracted with his own thoughts.

"So what, we should just lie ourselves out on the streets with a huge sign pointing to us and saying, 'Fresh Meat Here'?" Gojyo was arguing. He seemed to be getting tenser the longer he was forced to wait for his morning smoke. "He doesn't even eat his victims; he just kills 'em!"

"I'm saying," Sanzo said tightly, "that we should find a way to direct him to us."

"He may come back for you," Hakkai said mildly. "After all, there's a chance you saw him."

Sanzo's voice lowered, meant for only his companions to hear. "I didn't."

Hakkai's voice also dropped a few levels. "Yes, but he doesn't know that." Then he spoke normally again. "I don't think he'd take any chances. Nobody else seems to know what he looks like, and the chance that you might wouldn't be good for him at all."

"So what? We just sit back and wait?" Gojyo asked.

Shrugging, Hakkai admitted, "I don't think there's anything else we _can_ do. It's impossible to guard every good-looking person, even in a town this small."

The table rocked as Gojyo pushed away from it, standing so swiftly he nearly knocked his chair over. "Fine. Get back to me on the fine details." With that he was out the front door, carrying a pack of Hi-Lites and a lighter with him.

Sanzo finally picked up his fallen newspaper again, trying to focus on the articles before him. He didn't see the words; they blurred before his eyes. Instead he saw the dark room, silhouettes shifting and dancing in an unlit area. This demon was different, far different from most others they had encountered-- for one, it was at least somewhat clever. It had been able to time its attack so that no matter how Sanzo dodged, part of him would be injured. It wasn't just pure luck that it had clawed him; it had been perfect timing.

Not only that, it seemed as though it had been _expecting_ him to carry a weapon-- and a deadly one at that. How many people carried a gun? How many even knew how to shoot one? And how many that could do both had bullets specially designed to cause a demon great pain and injury? This demon seemed to have predicted everything. Sanzo had seen an unmistakable glint in those black eyes, the same look he'd seen often enough in Goku's eyes. The demon had been excited at the prospect of a challenge. Sanzo had no doubts it would come again. Tonight. Looking to kill him.

That wasn't a problem. This time Sanzo had allies to back him up. He was reluctant to admit it, but their assistance may come in handy for this particular nuisance. But he _was_ sure that after tonight the demon would be dead and they would be on their way west. It was no different from any other demon.

He whacked Goku's hand as it sneaked for the last roll, claiming it as his own.

The day ended high-strung. The four had retired to their respective rooms -- Sanzo still had to share a room with Goku, which seemed to only make him more irritable -- and none seemed able to relax. Gojyo was pacing the floor of his room, smoking so much that soon the entire room was curtained with a thin cloud of cigarette smoke. He ran a hand through his hair, half tempted to throw his cigarette out. Actually, he was just in the mood to throw things, anything that would relieve his tension. It was annoying.

The plan seemed too simple to him, but Sanzo insisted it was the only way to go about it. There was a couple of unspoken options, but no one was eager to act upon them. Still, they were almost preferable to Gojyo.

Almost. Some risks even he wouldn't take.

Hakkai spent a good portion of the evening simply sitting on the bed, wondering if there was really a better way to execute the plan. Right now there wasn't; all their doors were to be kept unlocked so they wouldn't have a problem of getting inside like they had last night. At the first sound of struggle, he and Gojyo would be bursting into the room, ready to fight if need be. It was _very_ likely it would be a "need be" situation.

Something seemed off, but there wasn't a single thing he could think of to help him place a finger on it. It was admittedly very frustrating. While he waited for the demon to show up, there was nothing else to do but sit and wonder.

Down the hallway, Sanzo seemed to have claimed the bed. He sat on the edge of it, polishing his gun with extreme care. It was a nightly ritual; he had to keep the Smith & Wesson in good condition. It had served him well this long; he wasn't about to lose it to poor care. Less concerned with the gun and more concerned about the owner was Goku, who was sitting rather docile on the floor, hugging a pillow to his chest. His chin rested on the top of it, his golden eyes fixated on his keeper. If Sanzo was disturbed by the attention, he didn't say anything about it.

After a while, Goku couldn't seem to keep quiet any longer. "Sanzo--"

"Shut up." The order was quiet, not said in the usual rough tone that Goku was used to. It made him flinch; this softness was more deadly than any coarse voice Sanzo had ever used. The monk's hands had stopped, the cloth still half covering the gun, but he didn't look anywhere else but down. His eyes had narrowed to slits; he was clearly preoccupied. "Your voice," he continued, slipping a bit more back into the old Sanzo's voice, "is offending my ears."

Goku said nothing to that. "You don't think this plan will work?"

Sanzo gave up on polishing; he tossed the rag carelessly into a corner. "No," he said bluntly, despite his earlier verbal wish for the boy to shut up. "It's a stupid plan, but we don't have any other choice. Doesn't mean I like it."

"I don't, either. He's creepy."

"You never even saw him, you stupid monkey."

"Didn't have to. I could feel him last night. I smelled him." Goku frowned. "But I couldn't place his scent. And I could have sworn I saw him, but it's impossible... I can't see through walls."

The blonde was giving him a skeptical look. "No," he agreed at last. "You can't."

Glancing out the window told Goku it was growing dark. Normally they would be setting camp, securing a hotel room, or sleeping right about now. Without having to be told, he clambered to his feet and, with a puff of breath, blew out the sole candle lighting the room. They were both plunged into utter darkness, and Goku felt a chill creep along his spine. It was unpleasant.

He could hear rustling and could faintly make out Sanzo lying down. Any other night he would have complained, protested to have the bed since it was, rightfully, _his_ room, that he deserved to at least have a blanket for his sacrifice. Tonight, however, he didn't plan on sleeping. He settled down on the floor, trying to adjust himself comfortably on the wooden boards. At last he found a tolerable position and lay there for a long time, staring at the ceiling, timing the monk's breathing and counting his own heartbeat. After a few minutes he could find an odd rhythm between them.

That was the way it was; he and Sanzo shared some sort of bond that made them step to similar steps, move to similar evasions, and generally have a similar thought process. It was impossible for them to be exactly in synch since their thought processes tended to go in opposite directions half the time. Still there was... something... that connected them, and right then Goku felt he was getting closer to the heart of that connection.

He must have drifted off, because he was jolted to awareness when something warm and heavy fell on him. "Huh...?" he mumbled sleepily.

"Shut up. If you're not going to keep watch, go to sleep. I can't."

Goku didn't argue, simply accepted that with a nod and pulled the offered blanket around him tighter, quickly falling back into the crevices of dreamland.

Sanzo, true to his word, was unable to sleep. He supposed he should have kicked Goku for falling asleep, but really, what else could he have expected from a child? He slid closer to the window, opening it. Outside smelled like cold rain, but no water fell from the sky. He lit a cigarette.

The first signal that someone had entered the room was a floorboard in the middle of the room creaking a bit too loudly. Sanzo pretended he hadn't heard, posing his hand so he would be ready to drop the cigarette out the window and reach for his gun at the same time.

Before the intruder could strike, it tripped. Apparently it hadn't even noticed Goku, being too preoccupied with Sanzo. Goku grunted in response, rolling across the floor. "_Nyoi-bou__!_" There was a crash; Goku had tried to strike the demon but had missed, hitting the floor instead. The brunette cursed.

Sanzo hadn't been idle. His cigarette was long gone, his gun out and held ready as he searched for any telltale sign of the demon. Where were Gojyo and Hakkai? Perhaps they had fallen asleep as well; the idiots...

The door crashed open, sending that train of thought flying out the window. At the same moment Hakkai was shouting something made unintelligible by the pounding in Sanzo's ears. Even without words, he could understand the motions the man was making. He threw himself to the side, his shoulder crashing into a wall at the same time Goku's battle cry resounded through the air.

This time the demon was hit. It went flying, rolling painfully across the floor. Hall light flooded the room. Time stilled for a brief moment, and that was all anyone needed to get a decent look at their foe.

Black, leathery skin stretched out over sinewy limbs, dirty and dulled so as not to reflect any light. The eyes and short hair matched; it was hard to tell where the flesh stopped and the hair started. The whites of his eyes were actually a sickly gray, too dark to even be called off-white. It was tall, likely able to tower over even Gojyo.

Without full advantage of the darkness, it seemed at a loss. It moved quickly, darting past Sanzo and aiming for the open window. Sanzo fired off two rounds; the first missed, but the second must have hit because the demon shrieked. It was a loud, high-pitched sound that made Goku clamp his hands over his ears, Gojyo and Hakkai cringe, and Sanzo desperately wish he had killed it with one shot.

In the next moment there was a ringing silence, broken only by Goku's slightly winded breath.

"Damn."

That was Gojyo. The half-breed stepped fully into the room, striding up to the window and peering out. When nothing attacked him, he stuck his head out and looked around, growling softly.

"Damn it!" he exploded, jerking back in and hitting his head on the windowpane. A string of curses fell from his lips as he clutched his head. Sanzo rolled his eyes.

"He got away," Goku complained, stating the obvious.

"Unfortunately," Hakkai added, a bit unnecessarily. He frowned faintly at Gojyo. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, yeah..."

Sanzo closed his eyes. He didn't like that the demon had eluded them a second time. It was _far_ too clever to be one of Kougaiji's assassins; those idiots didn't know when to give up, didn't seem to realize that sometimes backing off and re-strategizing was the best way to go. This demon understood. He was good-- and Sanzo didn't like that. It was bothersome.

Finished nursing his head, Gojyo leaned against the nearest wall, folding his arms over his chest. "Now what?" he asked, glaring at the monk. "Since this shitty plan _obviously_ didn't work..."

Sanzo returned the look. "I didn't hear you coming up with anything better." Then he turned to Hakkai, his glare losing its malice. "What?"

Green eyes rose, looking thoughtful. "Something about him seemed strange... but I can't quite figure out what."

"Sleep on it," said Sanzo shortly. "It won't do us any good at this point."

Goku, who had nearly fallen asleep leaning against his staff, jerked up again at the sound of Sanzo's voice. "Huh?"

Gojyo snorted. "The monkey can barely keep his eyes open anyway."

Glaring, Goku struggled with a retort. "Shut up, you--" He broke off in a wide yawn. "--perverted water sprite," he finally finished.

In the end they acted upon Sanzo's suggestion. Even before the door had shut, Goku had fallen asleep on the floor. Sanzo stepped over him to shut the window, but he didn't move to go to bed. Instead he continued staring outside, brow creased with thought.

The door hadn't opened. He would have heard the creak of the barely used hinges, would have noticed the light filtering into the room. Hell, it was even likely Goku would have woken up once the light had hit his eyelids. But nothing of the sort had happened. Even without looking, Sanzo was certain the door had been shut tight. Even unlocked, there was no possible way the demon could have gotten in.

It was a disturbing, disconcerting realization, and he was too tired to think more about it. Making sure to latch the window shut and lock the door this time, Sanzo avoided Goku's sprawled body a second time and crawled into bed. He needed to sleep, really should have, really _wanted_ to... but it was still bothering him.

An hour and two cigarettes later, he finally found he could lie down without having to toss and turn restlessly. That night he had a nightmare, one unlike the usual ones that accompanied a rainy night. He woke early near dawn, breathless and soaked in a cold sweat. Impulse made him check the floor, but his eyes proved his thoughts wrong; Goku was still there, asleep and breathing peacefully. He went back to sleep.

In the morning, he couldn't remember the nightmare at all.


	3. Chapter Three

**:: The Becoming ::**

_Gensomaden__ Saiyuki_

Disclaimer: I don't own Gensomaden Saiyuki, which rightfully belongs to Minekura Kazuya.

Rating: PG-13

Pairings: Sanzo/Goku, hinted Gojyo/Hakkai

Warnings: language, eventual shounen ai/yaoi, some violence

Notes: x.x; Once again, addressing reviewers isn't something I normally do but: no, Ami, I don't have VoB done ahead of time. ^_^; The next chapter is being worked on though. Promise.

And the next chapter of _this_ is going to contain… smut. Only not on FFN, of course, but you should be able to find it where I post my adult stuff. ^_^; Because I'm nice like that. Yeah. It's on my profile page, so next update… yeah.

D-chan's actually feeling somewhat depressed lately, so if her upcoming fics after this are weird, you know why. Don't worry; depression inspires me more often than not. Just in unusual ways…

Thanks for the reviews so far. Constructive criticism and feedback appreciated.

_Chapter Three_

"Ever heard of the Shadow Clan?"

The question was an odd morning's greeting. Gojyo stared at Hakkai, wondering what was going through the man's head. It took him a moment to realize that they were the only two of the group awake and downstairs, and thus, Hakkai was addressing him. He recollected his wits.

"Nope. Why?"

Hakkai simply 'hmm'ed in response, his eyes focused on a point past the half-breed's head. His unanswered question served to annoy Gojyo, so he repeated it. This time Hakkai's eyes focused on him, his smile in place but not genuine. "I think our little friend last night is of that clan."

Gojyo shook his head. "I've never heard of them."

"That's because you're an idiot," Sanzo said as he entered the dining area, his way of saying good morning. He took a seat and ordered coffee, but for once didn't pull out the newspaper. Instead, he looked at Hakkai. "I was actually thinking that this morning. Seems likely."

"He has the markings of a member."

"And he got inside without use of a door," Sanzo informed them, nodding his thanks to the waitress who finally brought his coffee.

"Oh?"

Gojyo's eyes rolled up toward the ceiling. How like them to just talk about the situation without informing him of the important details. Honestly, he sometimes wondered why he stuck around with them. Probably because he didn't have anything better to do, sadly.

"The only way he could have gotten in was through the window," Sanzo said flatly. "I would have noticed the door opening."

"What, were you guarding the door?" Gojyo asked, arching an eyebrow.

The monk's voice was clipped with impatience. "No, I was smoking."

"By the window." It was a statement, not a question, and Gojyo sounded skeptical and incredulous. "And you just let him slip past you?"

"It's a bit more complicated than that," Hakkai said quickly before Sanzo could ground out another biting retort. The latter turned his attention back to his coffee before it got cold and bitter, giving Hakkai enough leeway to explain. "They were called the Shadow Clan for a reason."

"Were?"

"I'll get to that in a moment," Hakkai said with practiced patience. "Anyway, they were a very small clan. Not many demons had what powers they did, and they look very different as well. They're _completely_ black so that they can blend in with the shadows and creep along them. And... they melt."

Gojyo stared. "They _what_?"

Hakkai frowned, looking temporarily at a loss for words. "No, wait. I phrased that wrong. Let me try again: they melt into the shadows. In a sense, they can _become_ the shadows. The nighttime is their best ally because of this."

"You're saying he became a shadow to slip into the room?"

"Most likely... yes."

"Definitely yes," Sanzo confirmed without looking up. "There's no other way he could have done it."

"So what do you mean by _were_?" Gojyo demanded. "Are they all dead or something?" Hakkai simply nodded in response.

For the next few minutes all that was heard was the soft murmuring of other morning customers, the shuffling of feet, and the clink of silverware against plates. All three young men were mulling the situation over. Another attack had to be planned, a better one, one that would actually stand a chance of _working_. Now that they understood their enemy, or at least understood his nature, it would be easier to act.

He went after good-looking people, and right now he was simply intent on killing Sanzo. His best weapon was the darkness and he fled if light disrupted that. Their _best_ chances of killing him would be in a lit area, but that was also the most difficult because he would likely run away. It was likely their best chances weren't going to fall into place the way they wanted them to, so the hellions would have to come up with a different plan.

There were a few other options, two in particular that were almost dead certain to work. Still, the three were obviously reluctant to speak of them, much less play them out.

It was just as Goku half walked, half stumbled down for breakfast that Hakkai spoke hesitantly. "There is... one thing we could try."

Sanzo shot him a sharp look. "If you mean _that_--"

"No," Hakkai said quickly, reassuringly. "I meant me."

"Huh?" Goku rubbed the last of sleep from his eyes, blinking as he settled down into a chair. "What's going on? Do we have a plan yet? Hey, Sanzo, can I order breakfast?"

"Not everything on the menu again," he replied, which seemed to be Sanzo for "Go ahead."

His first two intelligible questions went unanswered, and for a while he didn't seem to notice. Goku only woke up after he had been properly fed, and for him that could take a good couple of hours. Having a fight with Gojyo would sometimes quicken the process, and this morning it proved to be one of those times. The two squabbled like children over the French toast ("Quit hogging it all to yourself!" "_I_ ordered it, you perverted red cockroach!") while the other two men watched on in amusement and annoyance, not necessarily together.

Quietly, so as not to alarm the other two, Sanzo said, "You're sure about it?"

Hakkai didn't tear his eyes away from the sight, though his smile did falter a bit. "Yes."

"Even with the risks?"

"I have a fair amount of control over myself," Hakkai said delicately.

That was true enough. Sanzo finished his coffee, though it had long since grown cold. He quickly did a self-search until he found a pack of cigarettes. He didn't say where he was going, though it was easy to guess after he handed Hakkai the Sanbutsushin's gold card and headed for the front door. No one stopped him-- if anything, everyone seemed to be avoiding him.

That was when it struck Hakkai as odd; why hadn't anyone come running to investigate after all the noise for two nights in a row? It was vaguely worrisome.

A plate crashing to the floor startled him. His head twisted around just in time to see Gojyo and Goku pause, both looking surprised and guilty, before they glared at each other.

"You little brat; look what you did!"

"What _I_ did?! You were the one tugging too hard!"

"Your grip was too loose!"

Hakkai sighed, smiling to himself as he tapped the edge of the charge card against his temple. Good thing Sanzo had the foresight to give it to him.

Outside was surprisingly warm for winter. Sanzo frowned, for he was cold even in this weather. He resisted the urge to draw into himself to conserve body heat. It wasn't _that_ cold; he was overreacting.

Or perhaps there was another cause for the constant wave of chills. Illness... or perhaps apprehension, maybe even fear. All were things he couldn't afford to succumb to, not ever, but especially not now.

He didn't like the risk Hakkai was prepared to make. A part of him _was_ concerned for the man -- a part he promptly ignored -- but he was also dead certain it would work. It wasn't that he doubted Hakkai's abilities and strength; those were commendable, and that was saying something coming from him. Even so, something about the Shadow demon was weird, and it wasn't because of what he was.

Sanzo scoffed at his thinking. Sure, he was prone to be pessimistic, but this was more the proper time to let his sheer determination to live show through. He was _going_ to make this journey west, with or without anyone else; he was _going_ do complete the mission; and he was _going_ to kill the damned Shadow demon no matter what it took.

He would let Hakkai do what he wanted, but if Hakkai expected him to intervene then he had another thing coming. This was Hakkai's idea and Sanzo wasn't about to interfere. Of course, he would be there in case his opportunity to step in and fight himself arose, but he refused to step in and save someone who was going to make such a rash decision.

Sanzo tried to ignore the snide inner commentary that he wasn't coming up with any better ideas, now, was he?

The sound of the front door shutting didn't surprise him. At first he dismissed it as a random person leaving the inn, but then a presence lingered nearby, eyes on him, watching. Sanzo didn't acknowledge them, didn't even look up to see who it was.

"... Sanzo?"

With anyone else he would have had to look up to let them know he was listening. As it was, he knew he wouldn't have to; the unwanted presence would talk whether he was listening or not. He kept silent. Sure enough, Goku spoke after only the briefest of pauses.

"Hakkai thought it'd be a good idea for us to get a few extra supplies, so we're going to go out, okay?"

Sanzo nodded once, waiting expectantly. If that was all it was, Goku wouldn't have bothered coming out to tell him. Hakkai could have just as easily done so. Obviously, there was something else on Goku's mind. Sanzo really wanted to be alone to brood for a while, but he also knew it would he harder to get Goku to go away than it would be to answer his question.

His cigarette burned out long before the brunette spoke again. Sanzo let it drop to the ground, grinding it into the dirt with his sandal. The sounds of morning steadily grew louder as more and more people left their homes; children to play, men to work, women to shop. Goku didn't seem in a hurry to say anything; he leaned against the wall, golden eyes trained on the people passing by.

Finally, he said, "Are we really gonna let Hakkai...?"

God, how Sanzo hated it when the kid let his sentences dangle like that. "Yes."

Goku glanced at him. Something flickered in his expression, something that Sanzo could easily interpret as fear. "Hakkai... is scary when he's like that," Goku said slowly, looking a bit pale. "I mean it. Have you ever seen him like that? It's freaky." He was talking faster and faster, the words spilling from his mouth almost desperately. "And he _knows_ what he's doing, Sanzo!"

"I know that," the blonde cut in as Goku paused for breath. "And I don't care. Let him do what he wants."

"But--"

"Aren't you leaving yet?"

Even Goku realized that was his cue to leave. He nodded, still looking uncertain, but turned and went back inside anyway. Sanzo let out a long sigh of annoyance. He lit another cigarette, ignoring the odd stares from the passers-by. He didn't want their opinion, never did want the opinion of a selfish person-- especially when that selfish person was himself.

It was one of those moments when he seriously took time to question his sanity.

The best idea, Sanzo had said later, would be to get away from people. That meant to get out of the inn once evening fell to an open area that was badly lit. That would lure the demon out and, if they were lucky, it wouldn't decide to kill someone else instead of Sanzo.

And so there they sat (or stood) beneath the streetlamps in the middle of the town, waiting for all the lights to go out.

Goku, who had taken a nap earlier upon Hakkai's suggestion, was fidgeting and restless. "Hey Hakkai, are we gonna put out _all_ of the lights?" he asked, a bit too loudly.

"As many as needed," Hakkai answered.

Gojyo, equally impatient, scuffed the ground with his boots. The cigarette in his hand didn't seem to have any effect in calming his nerves. In fact, the only person that looked entirely calm was Hakkai, which seemed odd considering what he was about to do.

When the streets were all but deserted, Hakkai stood. "Let's go."

It took a good half hour to put out all the lights, especially with Sanzo's refusal to help. What they had to do was somehow reach the top of the posts, be it by climbing the pole, a nearby wall, or any other means, and pour enough water into the flames to put them out.

Sanzo stood below one of the poles, glaring upward. "Why are you all so damn slow?"

Gojyo glared down at him, trying to cling to the pole, climb it, and balance a canteen of water at the same time. "I don't see you helping!"

"Can't climb in these robes," was Sanzo's answer as he brought a burning cigarette to his lips. Around it, he added, "It'd ruin them besides."

"Then take them _off_," Gojyo snarled, not in the least bit happy with the smug note in the monk's voice.

"Keep your pants on," Sanzo retorted. Gojyo broke off in a string of curses which, if anything, seemed to only fuel Sanzo's amusement. The two continued to hurl insults back and forth, seeming to forget that they were supposed to be luring a Shadow demon. Hakkai and Goku both worked in silence, something that was unnatural with the latter. No one seemed to pay it any mind, but later that would cost them.

Right then, though, they were mostly concerned with other matters. With nearly all the close streetlamps put out, the four were ready for confrontation. Sanzo loaded his gun. Gojyo and Goku each called forth their weapons, oddly quiet.

For the next few minutes, everything was dead silent, from the wind to the birds. All that could be heard was four people breathing, softly, steadily. They weren't trying to avoid attracting attention so much as they were simply listening for any foreign movement.

"What if he doesn't come?" Goku's voice shattered the tense silence, causing everyone to start.

Sanzo quickly covered by reaching for another cigarette. "He'll come," he stated in a voice that clearly said _if he doesn't, there'll be hell to pay._

Goku opened his mouth to say more, most likely to ask another question, but a movement from the corner of his eye made him freeze. His neck nearly snapped as he whirled to look at it, eyes narrowed and grim.

Nothing.

Now the air was tense; the others had noticed his movements. The four stood in a circle, their backs to each other as they glared into the darkness, looking for the slightest hint of movement.

It was Hakkai's voice that cried, "Sanzo--!"

Without thinking, moving on instinct alone, Sanzo brought the gun up and shot to his left. A while ago he would have been disturbed to realize that he had learned to interpret a message simply by hearing his name being called, but by now it was so natural that he hardly gave it a second thought. A shadow skittered out of reach at the last moment, avoiding the shot. He cursed.

All four fell back into something more like a line, all warily eyeing the shadows before them. A faint presence lingered, sifting in the air around them like mist. It was impossible to track the demon at the moment, probably because it had melted into every shadow it could find. Already this wasn't promising to end well.

Some of the energy started to focus into one point. The shadows shifted, turning into a silhouette that was nearly impossible for the human eye to make out. Sanzo brought up his gun just as Gojyo and Goku steadied their own weapons, but before anyone could act Hakkai stepped forward, his arm spread out as though it would keep them back.

"We already know that won't work," he said quietly, gaze focused ahead and avoiding his companions. "Let me try now."

With that he reached up, plucking each limiter from his ear and dropping them to the dirt.

Goku had seen the transformation once before, but that didn't make it any easier to handle the second time around. First the rounded ears grew longer, tapering off to a point like an elf's ear. Patterns resembling leafy vines seemed to snake along the man's skin, crawling out from beneath his shirt and wrapping around his arm, to his hand, across his face. Goku shivered and bit his tongue.

Only Sanzo seemed mildly taken aback; he was the only one who'd never seen Hakkai's demon form, after all. The surprise quickly left, replaced with his usual cold contempt. Gojyo's eyes also narrowed, though he was clearly more concerned about their companion. Goku slowly turned his gaze to the fight, his eyes widening.

It took a lot to scare him, but Hakkai could do that easily when he was like this. The man-turned-demon didn't look back once. One moment he stood just inches in front of them; the next he was darting forward, clawed hands extended in a furious swipe. He didn't scream or holler as he fought; gone was the smile that usually accompanied him. This wasn't like a fight; this was more akin to assassination.

The Shadow demon dodged. It nearly didn't make it in time, proving it had been taken aback by Hakkai's sudden change of appearance and fighting skills.

Against his will, Goku was reminded of the incident when Hakkai had also taken off his limiters to fight another demon. That time he had landed all his hits, spraying blood, ripping out insides, crushing them with his heel as though determined to destroy every last piece of it. He had been silent the entire time, never once having to scream of either fury or pain. The only sounds had been the monster's inhuman shrieks and the sound of claws tearing into flesh. The scariest part was that a part of Hakkai seemed to be _enjoying_ it. He had been thrilled to cause so much bloodshed, and the glint in his eye had frightened Goku for the first time in a very long time.

This time Hakkai wasn't landing any hits.

All Sanzo had to say was, "I knew this wouldn't work."

"Shit," Gojyo cursed, taking a step forward. Sanzo's arm shot out, keeping him back, which obviously didn't go over well. "Keep your hands to yourself, you dirty monk," the half-breed snarled, shoving Sanzo's hand aside and starting forward again.

This time Sanzo grasped him by the back of his shirt. "Hakkai wanted to do this alone," he said coldly. "So let him."

"Fuck that! I'm not about to sit here and wait for him to tire out and make a mistake!"

"He won't," Sanzo returned with infuriating calm. "Because he's going to retreat."

Whether he meant Hakkai or the Shadow demon was uncertain, but his prediction came true anyway. Somehow they seemed to have attracted unwanted attention; voices were starting to rise from within houses, demanding to know what was causing such a racket. When the first candle was lit the fight came to a pause; Hakkai with his arm halfway in the air, his visible eye narrowed in something not quite hatred and bloodlust, the Shadow demon in a semi-crouch, his dark eyes shooting to the window.

A woman's voice shrieked. "_It's the demon!_"

Chaos erupted instantly. Giving its opponents a look caught somewhere between disgust and disappointment, the demon vanished into the night in the blink of an eye.

Sanzo's hold on Gojyo loosened and the redhead shook him off, his weapon vanishing into thin air as he strode forward to Hakkai. "Hakkai... you hurt or something?"

Hakkai slowly turned, his face half-revealed in the poor lighting. He stared long and hard at Gojyo, staring as though he didn't recall who he was. Shadows danced across his face, showing a glint of sharp teeth, a glimmer of something sinister. Slowly understanding seeped into his eyes.

That was when he struck.


	4. Chapter Four

**:: The Becoming ::**

_Gensomaden__ Saiyuki_

Disclaimer: I don't own Gensomaden Saiyuki, which rightfully belongs to Minekura Kazuya.

Rating: PG-13

Pairings: Sanzo/Goku, hinted Gojyo/Hakkai

Warnings: language, shounen ai/yaoi, some violence

Notes: I had _originally intended for Seiten Taisei to show up here, but Goku didn't feel like working with me. *snort* But I promise he'll make his appearance in the next chapter—which I'll try to get up, despite this coming week being exam week._

If I'm grounded shortly after finishing this fic, it's because of bad grades. *is dying in Algebra II and likely English* So do not be alarmed if I disappear! ^^; I'll try not to, though.

Halloween is coming up soon. I'm gonna be Seiten Taisei. XD What about you people?

Constructive criticism and feedback always appreciated.

_Chapter Four_

"Hakkai... you hurt or something?"

Hakkai slowly turned, his face half-revealed in the poor lighting. He stared long and hard at Gojyo, staring as though he didn't recall who he was. Shadows danced across his face, showing a glint of sharp teeth, a glimmer of something sinister. Slowly understanding seeped into his eyes.

That was when he struck. Gojyo had the barest of warnings, just Hakkai's right arm moving slightly backward, before he brought it up and violently out, trying to rip Gojyo's heart out. Gojyo fell back, his shirt torn but enduring no more pain than a few shallow scratches. He swore violently.

Goku's eyes widened. "Hakkai!" This hadn't happened the last time; Hakkai had simply crushed the last of the demon into dust, slipping his limiters back on as soon as he was done. It had taken a bit of a toll on him, but other than that he had been perfectly fine.

Sanzo said nothing.

Gojyo used his stumble to his advantage; he fell back, pausing in a crouched position before he darted up, catching Hakkai's wrists before the demon could do anything else. "Hakkai!" he growled. "Calm down! It's me! Just me!" Hakkai struggled. Gojyo shook him roughly. "Hakkai, _get a hold of yourself!_"

Realization struck. Hakkai froze, mute, his green eyes wide and catlike, reflecting the moonlight. His gaze lost its bloodlust. He stared at Gojyo in something akin to horror.

"Goku, grab the limiters."

The soft order came from Sanzo. Scrambling to do as told, Goku quickly located the silver pieces in the dirt, scooping them up and fairly thrusting them into Gojyo's outstretched hand. Obviously not trusting Hakkai to do it himself, Gojyo was the one to slip the limiters back into place.

As the first one was clipped back on, the pointed ears seemed to collapse, then melt back into a more round, acceptable shape. After the second the leafy patterns disintegrated, as though they were dust patterns sinking into the man's skin. With the last one the fangs shrank and the veins in Hakkai's taut arms became less prominent.

At last, Gojyo breathed a sigh of relief and released the brunette. "You idiot. What was that for?"

It was rare to see Hakkai struggling to smile; the sight set alarms off in Gojyo's head. "Sorry. I suppose I got a bit... carried away." He paused. "I'm sorry..." His eyes slid shut, as though he were about to recall a peaceful memory, before he pitched forward with a small sigh.

"Hakkai!" Goku started forward, but it was Gojyo that caught him before he hit the ground. With the nearby kitchen windows on, it was easy to spot the blood that soaked Hakkai's shirt and now Gojyo's arm. The half-breed paled, but managed to remain mostly calm. Pressing his lips tight together, he stood, supporting Hakkai, and took him back to the inn. People peered out of their windows, curious to see what as happening but far too scared to actually come out. He glared at anyone that stared, and they flinched.

Goku stared after the retreating two, looking at a loss. When it was clear nothing more was about to happen, lights flickered off one by one and people went to bed.

At last, he managed to say, "What just happened?"

Ignoring the rhetorical question, Sanzo lit a cigarette.

If emotions were akin to water then Hakkai wasn't just sensing ripples of anger; it crashed into him like a wave to the beach. The moment Gojyo noticed his companion had awaken, he began to talk.

"Real great, what you did back there."

Hakkai closed his eyes. His patience was rapidly wearing thin in the past couple of days, and he knew Gojyo knew he was pushing it. Perhaps, as with Goku to Sanzo, Gojyo was the only one allowed to test Hakkai's limits so much.

"Yes," he said calmly, eyes still closed. "I think so, too."

"I can't believe you lost it."

"There's a first time for everything."

"Damn it, Hakkai!" The curse was followed by an explosion of sound that seemed to make the room shudder; even without looking Hakkai could tell Gojyo had taken his frustration out on the wall. "You should have stopped the _second_ you realized what was happening!"

At last, Hakkai frowned. "But I didn't." The admission was almost painful, but it did have the pleasing effect of startling the redhead into temporary silence. "I didn't realize I was losing it until you brought me back." Green eyes slid open, accompanied with a tired smile. "I should thank you for that."

Gojyo finally got his jaw to work. "Yeah," he agreed. "You should."

Neither said anything.

"What did the villagers say?" Hakkai finally asked.

Gojyo shrugged. "Those that saw you think they're delusional because you're such a nice person." Hakkai's lips twitched into the beginnings of a wry smile. "Some are convinced we're working with the demon."

"Of course. We've been plotting this town's demise for years now."

"Not like anyone would miss this shithole anyway," Gojyo muttered, propping his chin with his hand.

Slowly, almost dreamily, Hakkai brought his hand up. He stared as though entranced, eyes lingering on his lifeline. Ever since Gojyo had mentioned the man's short lifeline, Hakkai was prone to stare at it when he thought others weren't watching. It was a bit disheartening. Gojyo closed his eyes briefly, sighed, then opened them again.

"Now what?"

The question, surprisingly, had come from Hakkai. Gojyo paused with his mouth half open, snapping it shut quickly. He had been about to ask the same thing, but it seemed as though Hakkai was at a loss, too. He shrugged.

Lowering his hand, Hakkai pushed himself into a sitting position. He gasped, wincing as pain stabbed through his gut. Off-handedly, Gojyo said, "By the way, you might want to lie still. The bastard nearly tore you a new one there."

A grim smile touched Hakkai's lips. "I see." he cautiously lowered himself. "Slashed in the same general area twice. That can't be too lucky."

"Nope. But at least you didn't spill any guts this time."

"Where's Goku?"

The question was completely off topic, but Gojyo was starting to get used to the random changes. He answered without hesitation. "Probably downstairs. Master Sanzo's been in a _real_ touchy mood all day."

"Unfortunate," Hakkai murmured.

Gojyo stood. "I'll get some coffee. Feel up to any?"

A glimmer of a real smile shone through the next one Hakkai gave. "Please." Nodding, the half-breed turned to go, only to be stopped in the doorway as the quietest of whispers carried through the air.

"Thank you."

He tapped the frame for a moment, quickly searching for the best response, before he decided that it was all right to use a typical one. He didn't have to look to know that Hakkai was watching him. Calmly, arrogantly, he said, "About damn time you thanked me."

With that he left the room, Hakkai's amused chuckles ricocheting in his head.

Dinner was another tense affair. No one mentioned the previous night's incident, though it was clearly riding everyone's mind. Goku and Gojyo made an effort to fight, but even Goku wasn't too eager to engage in it. For the most part, dinner was eaten in silence-- and it disturbed everyone.

In the end, Hakkai had felt well enough to come down and eat. He had made an attempt to heal his own injuries, but for some reason he never had been too skillful when it came to healing himself. He moved a bit gingerly but otherwise appeared to be perfectly fine. A random onlooker would never have guessed he'd nearly been gutted the night before.

Sanzo, as usual, finished first. Normally at this point he would sit back and read the paper, but this time he just stared moodily at the wall, eyebrows drawn down. Goku glanced at him frequently but made no move to mention his keeper's behavior.

Not a word was exchanged, but all four filed into Hakkai's room afterward. Hakkai slid onto the bed; Gojyo grabbed the nearest chair and pulled it closer to the bedside; Sanzo seemed fine leaning against the wall; Goku sat cross-legged on the floor, petting Hakuryuu and feeding the dragon leftovers he had slipped from the table.

Hakkai, ever the icebreaker, said calmly, "The way I see it, we have two choices."

"Please," Sanzo said heavily. "Enlighten us."

"We could take a few days to devise a good trap of sorts," Hakkai answered. "I don't think even our good luck will hold out very long if we try that approach, though."

"Good luck, he says," Gojyo muttered.

"And the other?" Sanzo asked with the air of someone who already knew the answer.

Hakkai shrugged. "We leave the village and let them handle the problem themselves."

One would expect a thick silence to follow, but Goku spoke to quickly to let it settle. "No."

Sanzo scowled. "Just for that, I think we should."

"We can't just leave them to their own defenses," Goku argued. Hakuryuu squealed in protest when he unconsciously dug his fingers into the dragon's spine. Startled, Goku quickly released him and the white dragon scuttled toward Hakkai, shooting the boy a look of contempt. Goku sulked.

Running his fingers down the bristly spine, Hakkai soothed his pet. "I'm afraid I'm inclined to agree with Goku."

"Then you two'd better help us think of something fast," Gojyo drawled. "Because it looks like we're fast running out of options."

"Well, he's gotta have a weakness of _some_ sort, right?" Goku persisted, resting his elbows on his knees as she leaned forward. "So we just gotta find it and... um..."

"Exploit it," Hakkai said gently.

"Yeah."

"We already know its weakness," Sanzo said shortly. "Light. It runs away every time light threatens it."

"So why not fight it and let Hakkai light up or something?"

Gojyo chortled; Hakkai bit back a chuckle, settling for a patient smile. "My _Qi__ Gong_ techniques aren't as much light as they are the gathering of life energies, Goku."

The boy sighed, letting his head fall forward. He seemed to be muttering something, but no one quite caught it. Staring at the floor, Goku traced senseless patterns into the wood. He wanted to help, wanted to save these people, wanted to do _something_ to get rid of this village. While it was small and likely insignificant in the larger picture of the world, it still held living, breathing people that wanted to keep breathing just as much as anyone else. That made writing the place off as unimportant seem very unfair to Goku. What did size have to do with anything?

His fingers knotted in his hair, a soft exhale of frustration passing his lips. Still nothing was said. They were running out of options ridiculously fast. It wasn't natural for one random demon to cause them this much mischief; it wasn't _right_, somehow. Didn't all the toughest adversaries lay ahead?

Sanzo pushed away from the wall, drawing attention. He didn't give any excuse for his sudden departure, except when Hakkai called after him, "Are we finished already?"

"You keep thinking," Sanzo said flatly. "I'm going to buy more cigarettes."

He shut the door quietly behind him, his footsteps gradually fading until it was certain he was out of hearing range. Even then, Hakkai waited a good couple of minutes before he spoke. "I do have one other idea."

Gojyo's head snapped up. "What? Why didn't you say anything?" he demanded. "Now we'll have to explain it to the monk when he gets back--"

"No," Hakkai cut in sharply. He softened his voice. "No, we won't. Because we're only going to explain certain parts to him."

Already Goku was uneasy. Even if it wasn't exactly lying, only telling Sanzo the partial truth was a huge risk. Goku was a horrible liar, too easy to read; didn't Hakkai know that?

As though reading his mind, Hakkai counseled, "It's okay, Goku. It will be the truth, provided things don't go exactly as planned."

"So?" Gojyo demanded impatiently. "What is it?"

Hakkai continued to stare at Goku, his eyes saying more than any words could. When it finally sunk in, the blood fled Goku's face. "No, wait," he said desperately. "Hakkai, we can't... _I_ can't..."

"Listen first," Hakkai said softly. "The way we'll do it is we'll fight the demon one at a time, for as long as we can. We'll wear him down. But _you_ have to be doing a lot of dodging, Goku. I was watching him when I fought him, and I think we can time everything perfectly."

Goku was shaking his head frantically. No longer was he slouched over; his spine was stiff, looking ready to snap in two as he leaned forward, golden eyes betraying his anxiety. "But--"

"Of course, we'll let Sanzo go after you, so he won't be injured when he has to step in," Hakkai was saying.

"I wouldn't worry about that _knight_ anyway," Gojyo said mockingly. "He can take care of himself, with or without your help, monkey."

"I know that!" Goku snapped, his voice higher than usual. Both men stared at him, causing him to pause and wince. "I... I know that," he repeated, his voice quieter. "I know he doesn't need my help. And I don't need his." His pause stretched from a couple seconds to a couple minutes. At last, he said, "What d'you want me to do?"

"Come see me later, just when you get a moment, so I can explain things further." Goku looked absolutely miserable, but he nodded anyway. "And don't tell Sanzo what _might_ be happening," Hakkai advised. Seeing the wisdom in that, Goku nodded again.

As though on cue, the door opened. Sanzo looked considerably calmer, though he did reek of smoke. Goku made a face and scooted away when the priest walked past him. Sanzo chose to ignore it.

"So," he said. "Any bright ideas?"

"Just one," Hakkai said.

Sanzo blinked, obviously not expecting that. Then he nodded once. "It better work."

"It will," Hakkai promised.

The adults began to elaborate on the plan, the brunette on the floor only absently noted. Wordless, Goku only half took in what they were saying; the rest of the time his mind wandered, brushing on thoughts he was uneasy to touch. At long last they decided it was about time to retire to bed; in six hours they would need to be awake to put the plan into action.

He didn't like it.

There was a damn good reason Goku didn't like it, but he could see it from Hakkai's point of view. They could continue fighting pointless battles that never got anywhere or run away, but neither plan was very desirable.

But then this way was dangerous. Not really to Goku, but to everyone around him.

Mostly to Sanzo. Especially to Sanzo.

He tossed and turned on the hard floor, not really trying to fall asleep as he was trying to give the impression that he was. After a while he came to rest on his right shoulder. His arm quickly started to feel numb, but he kept still anyway, listening, listening...

Sanzo wasn't moving at all.

He swallowed a sigh, settling for running his fingers through his hair. Against his touch, the diadem felt almost warm; chilled by the winter air, but not completely cold, as though it had melted into his head. It had become such a part of him that Goku couldn't imagine being without it. The idea was... scary.

Because without it he turned into that raging, bloodthirsty, horrible _thing._ He shivered, but it wasn't because of the cold air.

At last Goku sat up, testing his arm gingerly. It was a bit sore, but hadn't gone numb as he had suspected. He did his best to creep toward the door, but it turned out his attempts were futile.

"Where the hell are you going?"

The voice was so familiar that by now Goku sometimes suspected it spoke in his head rather than his ears. He turned to face his keeper, but all he could make out was a silhouette in the window. The moonlight was little; a cloud passed in front of it, throwing them into darker shadows. Goku could hear himself breathing, could feel Sanzo breathing, could sense that odd, heartbeat rhythm between them again.

The last thing he wanted... the last thing he _ever_ wanted...

Goku forced a grin, one he hoped was convincing. While he couldn't see Sanzo, surely Sanzo could see him. Goku wasn't the one framed by a paler background, so some sort of light should have made him visible to the man.

"I had a couple questions for Hakkai. That's all."

Even though he couldn't see it, he could tell from Sanzo's voice that he was narrowing his eyes. "Obviously questions that I can't answer." Goku wasn't sure what to say to that, so he simply shrugged.

He did have a question, however. "Sanzo?" Without waiting for a response, he plunged on. "What if I had to turn into... you know... _that_... again." Somehow it was hard to speak of his other form, no matter how much a part of him it was supposed to be. "What if I took this off and turned into that thing again?"

Calmly, coldly, Sanzo replied, "I'd kill you."

His first warning that Sanzo was about to move wasn't a shift in the shadows, but a soft creak from the floor. Goku's eyes darted down then back up. Up close it was much easier to see Sanzo, much easier to make out the lines that shaped his glaring eyes, his suspicious frown, the tense lines that drew his eyebrows down. Sanzo was barely two feet away, but those two feet felt much more like two inches. Neither gaze wavered, though inwardly Goku was panicking, silently, fervently wishing that Sanzo wasn't as good a mind-reader as he sometimes thought.

At last, Sanzo averted his eyes, falling back a step. "Better go then, monkey."

Nodding a bit too eagerly, Goku fumbled for the doorknob, slipping out as quickly as he was allowed. Once the door was shut back behind him he let out a long breath. Somehow he wasn't relieved, just more tense.

That would have to wait until later. He hurried to Hakkai's room, rapping with his knuckles. "Hakkai? It's me..."

Unable to escape until nearly an hour later, Goku half stumbled back into the room, forgetting that Sanzo would most likely be asleep. He was tired, having had to listen to Hakkai remind him -- repeatedly! -- what to do. Where to move. _How_ to move. Where to dodge, and how to dodge which attacks just right. The plan had to be executed perfectly.

They had, at best, four hours before they were going to head out. He needed some _sleep_. There had been no time to rest earlier, no indication that he should try to make time. Therefore, he was tired.

He didn't even feel the eyes watching him.

He was only half kneeling on the floor when the rough hand closed on his wrist, yanking him rudely upward. A yelp escaped his lips before he could stop it, and then Goku felt a partially gloved hand clamp down over his mouth. The next thing he saw was a pair of violet eyes burning twin holes into him.

Softly, ever so softly, Sanzo whispered, "You're so damn annoying."

Goku just stared, unable to summon a proper reaction-- or any reaction, for that matter. When he stammered his keeper's name in utter confusion, it was barely audible, already muffled by the hand over his mouth.

"Shut up," the dark voice was murmuring. "Do you think you can shut up for a couple hours?"

Goku nodded.

"Good." Then the hand slipped away, replaced with the barest ghost's touch of lips. Then another wash of warmth flowed over Goku's face. "Not a word leaves here."

His only response was to twine his arms around the man's neck, pulling him down. The situation was odd, strange, but Goku wasn't about to ask questions. Somehow, he felt that this was important; that if he backed out he was going to miss out on so much; that if he denied these unusual turn of events he was going to be missing some huge piece of a puzzle he was going to have to eventually put together. After all, Sanzo didn't do anything without considering the consequences first -- not most of the time, anyway -- and Goku not only had placed his full trust in the man, but in a way his life, and definitely his heart.

_Not a word,_ he silently promised before succumbing to blissful thoughtlessness.


	5. Chapter Five

**:: The Becoming ::**

_Gensomaden__ Saiyuki_

Disclaimer: I don't own Gensomaden Saiyuki, which rightfully belongs to Minekura Kazuya.

Rating: PG-13

Pairings: Sanzo/Goku, hinted Gojyo/Hakkai

Warnings: language, shounen ai/yaoi, some violence

Notes: Finally, the chapter where you can actually tell I enjoyed writing it. XD Not that the whole fic wasn't fun, but this was the part I wanted to do most. I hope it shows.

That's right: time for Seiten Taisei. Let's hope I pulled it off. Thanks for all the reviews so far! Constructive criticism and feedback appreciated.

_Chapter Five_

If the other two noticed his rumpled state or the bags beneath his eyes, they were either too polite or too preoccupied with other thoughts to say anything. For Gojyo, that certainly had to be saying something.

Sanzo, of course, acted as though nothing had happened.

That was perfectly understandable, and Goku was more than willing to go along with it. That had been the promise; that had been the deal. In return for the pleasure, Goku had to keep his lips sealed, not breathing a word of it to anyone.

That was okay. He couldn't afford to be distracted right now, anyway.

Moving in silent accord, the four slipped past the front desk and out of the inn. The clerk didn't ask questions, though he did look horribly curious. Perhaps he, too, had been sworn to silence. One could never be sure without asking questions.

Goku had his staff out at all times. He wasn't taking any chances-- and, judging by the looks of the others, neither were they. Gojyo's _shakujo_ gleamed long and silver in the moonlight. Though Sanzo's arms were folded, by walking behind him and peering beneath his arm, one could see the fingers tracing the outline of a gun beneath his robes. Hakkai was far from completely healed, but he was walking well, light occasionally throbbing at his palms. He had to quickly suppress his power, lest he scare the Shadow demon away when what they really wanted to do was tear him apart piece by piece.

After tearing Hakkai's gut open and attacking Sanzo, the damn thing deserved to die; so thought two members of the party.

It was decided, even without anyone saying anything, that Goku would go first. He was clearly the most tired of them all -- not surprising, he thought dryly -- so it only made sense that he go first. That was their excuse, anyway. Sanzo wasn't supposed to know the real plan, but Goku got the distinct feeling the man had a fairly good educated guess. Little things that had been said only hours ago hinted toward it, and though dense, Goku wasn't that stupid.

Outside the fringes of the town, they stopped.

His eyes had already adjusted to the dark. He could make out the bare branches of maple trees, could hear the quiet rustle of pine needles and wet leaves beneath his feet as he made his way forward. The others hung behind, watching. There was nothing they could do right now.

Perhaps the Shadow demon couldn't really become a shadow itself, as Hakkai had said, because the first movement Goku caught he swung his staff out low on the ground. There was a startled noise of surprise before something fell to the ground, its fall cushioned by pine needles. Dark eyes burned up at Goku, who glared back.

"No way," he growled, kicking at the Shadow demon. It dodged this time. "You'll have to go through me before you touch Sanzo!"

The demon said nothing, but it seemed to understand. Lunging forward, it seemed to take on a full shape in midair. Goku stumbled back, swinging almost wildly with his staff. The hit didn't connect, but that was all right. It wasn't supposed to. For now, he simply had to dodge.

So he did.

For nearly ten full minutes he evaded the demon's attacks, scraping by with a couple close calls but never once getting seriously hurt. He quickly began to realize what Hakkai meant by the demon using a strange yet simple attack pattern. It would lash out, feinting often, trying to trick you into moving in the wrong direction, and only half the time it would seriously try to injure you. It wasn't seriously trying to fight, and that irked Goku beyond all reason.

_Might as well give him something to worry about, then._

The next strike was aiming down. Goku dodged to the side. The one after that was going across, and the one after that across the other way. Both times Goku had to jump back, nearly tripping over his own feet in his haste. He cursed inwardly.

Then the opportune moment came. One twisted, clawed hand flew up at an angle, intent on dissevering his head from his neck. Instead of completely jumping out of the way, Goku snapped his head back, praying that his own judgment was good and that the blow wouldn't take his head off.

Claws snagged his cheek and left eyebrow, leaving fiery burns in their wake. Goku cried out, not just in pain, but in anger, nearly falling on his back. But the dodge had the desired effect. One moment the golden diadem was resting snugly on his head, the next it was twirling in midair. Goku watched it almost dreamily, the gold dulled to a dim copper in the darkness, and then his vision was blinded by white, then swallowed by a roaring darkness.

"Fuck."

Though the voice was soft, the curse was so rough it seemed as though it had been shouted. Hakkai didn't rose to it, but Gojyo was tense beside him-- though it could have been for another reason entirely. "We didn't have any better choices."

"I'm going to kill him this time."

Hakkai's eyes slid in the priest's direction. For once he wasn't smiling, his expression serious. "Yes," he said heavily. "I'm sure you will."

"Don't underestimate me," Sanzo snapped. Gojyo remained eerily silent.

"I wouldn't. But also note that Goku didn't want to do this."

"He still did it."

"I can be very persuasive."

"I don't see why you're trying to protect him."

As the loud, inhuman shrieks of agony pierced the night air, Hakkai visibly winced and turned back to the scene unfolding before them. He was able to make out Goku's form, crouched on the ground, clawing at his skull in sheer agony as the transformation took place. He couldn't say anything; had nothing to say.

Seiten Taisei had returned.

He was never in a familiar surrounding. Never. It was always different, but that didn't really matter. Because he smelled blood. Fresh blood. Blood coursing through someone's veins.

A feral grin touched his lips.

He didn't have to look, because he could _smell_ this foul beast's blood. Still running. Still trapped in that body.

Not anymore.

Shrieking with delight, he lunged forward. Swiped. Watched dark eyes widen in shock. Watched thick, purple liquid spray over his arm, onto his face, staining his shirt. Splattering. Dripping. Delicious. He licked his lips; very delicious. Not the same wonderful taste as the coppery red of human blood, but good for now.

He howled. Lunged. Sank his teeth into the junction between the thing's neck and shoulder. More blood spurted. Dimly, he heard it screaming. Then the tearing of muscle and flesh. The thickness of meat dripping with fresh blood, bittersweet and wonderful on his tongue. Almost salty. It tried to fight back, clawing at his arms, but only succeeded in tearing his sleeves into ribbons.

He wouldn't waste time eating this strange creature. It was weak. No challenge. Not as appetizing as the human blood he smelled behind him, fresh and wild and boiling with something akin to anger right _now_...

His hand darted up. Clutched the leathery, hairless head. Sank his claws into it. Listened to it whimper. Brought it down to bash its face in with his knee, crushing the bones. It wouldn't be able to scream coherently any longer. All sound was muffled.

Still gripping the head, he used his other arm to dive into the thing's belly, grasping at its innards, clawing them, ripping them apart. Shredding them. Tearing them out. Watching the dark, raw-smelling liquid splatter all over the ground. Grinning with unholy glee at the whole thing. It was beautiful to him, a horrible, wonderful, enchanting piece of death, full of blood and gore and mess. His hands were slick with blood.

Lips curled in a wicked smirk, he brought his hand out. Blood splattered noisily. He brought his hand up to his face; licked it. Tasted blood. Wonderful, delicious blood. What a treat.

Tongue grazing over his fingers, he used the hand still clutching the demon's head to squeeze. It screamed. He was barely exerting any pressure. He grinned.

He crushed the skull. Bones crunched. The screaming abruptly halted. The silence was sudden and deafening. Beautiful. Still calmly tasting his fingers, he uncurled his free hand. The body fell with a meaty thud. He kicked it. It rolled limply; flopping.

Dropping his arm to his side, he turned to the scent behind him. Fresh blood. Human blood. Red blood. Very different blood. His smile would have been lovely, if the onlookers hadn't realized what it meant.

Death. Death to them all. No matter who. No matter what. He saw two of them murmuring, but couldn't recognize the lip movement or the language. Couldn't hear anything over the roaring in his head, only one word screamed as a violent mantra, the only word he knew, and that was _KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL!_

His gaze settled on the sun.

There was no questioning who was going to step up to fight. Sanzo couldn't be angry, though he could be annoyed. Why was it that he and he alone -- excluding certain goddesses -- was the only one that could stop this idiot after an insane rampage? When the catlike, wickedly glinting gold eyes came to rest on him, Sanzo glared back and stepped forward. He had accepted the silent challenge.

_No useless bullets to waste on this bastard._

His thoughts were conflicting, arguing with each other. On one hand, he knew this was Goku. It was his body, and killing it meant killing him. He had every right to just put a bullet in the idiot's head, and yet he didn't make a move to do so-- even though this wasn't really Goku, presently, but Seiten Taisei. They were two very different people, one demon and one boy, trapped in the same body. Two minds, one body. Two lives, one body. Two Gokus, one body.

Only this wasn't Goku; it was Seiten Taisei.

Why did he keep having to remind himself that?

Seiten Taisei lunged forward, expending more effort to make noise than to be silent. Seiten Taisei wasn't a person, he was a demon in its rawest form. Blood was his only lust; death was his only desire. Any thought of food, living, care, and whatever was remotely humane was banished. This thing lived to kill. In that sense, he was not Goku.

Sanzo didn't shoot, but used the gun as a weapon anyway. He swung it forth, grunting with the effort as the blow was driven from his hips, driving the metal into the demon's belly. Seiten Taisei choked, the wind knocked free of his lungs. He stumbled back, hatred flaring in his golden eyes.

It wasn't Goku, but Goku was hidden somewhere in there, somewhere in the back of this creature's mind. Sanzo knew the boy was watching, horrified at his actions, but having no control whatsoever. Goku said he could never clearly remember what happened before and after his awful transformation, but he could always recall little things.

_"My hands... they were seriously trying to kill... Hakkai, Gojyo... even Sanzo..."_

Not "and Sanzo," but "_even_ Sanzo." Making him that much more important; making him that much more significant.

Stupid child.

With a loud angry cry, Seiten Taisei threw himself back up. Sanzo was too close to dodge in time; a hard skull crashed into his knees. Wincing terribly, unable to bite back a cry of pain, Sanzo also fell. A crack sounded, loud as a gunshot. Pain stabbed all the way up his leg and to his heart. It _hurt_.

Like hell he would let a small injury be his downfall. He was the only person that could turn Goku back to normal; the only one. If it was just a simple matter of placing the diadem back on his head, anyone could do it-- but it wasn't that simple. Hakkai and Gojyo didn't know it, and it was likely even Goku didn't realize it, but once taken off the diadem's powers ebbed away. Sure, it might work, but it would take too long for the magic to work the proper effect. The aftermath would leave Goku with a splitting headache for days, and while Sanzo normally wouldn't mind letting that happen just to prove a point to the idiot, he much less liked the idea of Goku's whining about the pain. Even then it would be a weaker copy of what it was before. Once off, it was useless.

No, a new diadem would have to replace the old one. It was the only way it would have an immediate and proper effect. Sanzo intended on making this as painless as possible for himself.

That was why it pissed him off that Seiten Taisei had hit him so effectively. Snarling, Sanzo changed his grip on the gun, careful to keep his finger clear of the trigger as he brought the metal crashing down on the demon's head. Seiten Taisei screamed, knocked to the ground on his side and clutching at the pained spot. Sanzo was immediately on him, one hand covering the fiery golden eyes as he began to chant.

Unfortunately, it wasn't going to be as easy as the last time. Before he could even finish the first line, Seiten Taisei kicked at him. The sole of his boot crashed painfully between the man's ribs. For a moment Sanzo's eyes widened; the air stilled, and he saw a smug grin of triumph on the demon's face before he went flying back, the chant lost on his tongue and scattered to the winds.

"Sanzo!"

If Hakkai didn't stay back, Sanzo was going to make sure he regretted it. As though sensing the silent threat, the man _did_ stay back, though he was obviously tense. From the corner of his eye, Sanzo noted Gojyo tightening his grip on the _shakujo_.

He threw himself to the side before Seiten Taisei's boot could make connection with his head. The force and impact hurt his ribs, made him gasp in pain and lose his breath. He had to keep moving, though, otherwise he'd be dead-- and like hell he was going to let himself be killed by an idiot of a demon!

His next action was done on sheer impulse, in an almost desperate hope to try to startle the damned thing. Sanzo swung the gun up, cocked it, and pulled the trigger.

Seiten Taisei froze.

The bullet had just barely missed him, thanks to Sanzo's perfect aim. The blonde tensed, gun still poised to shoot. He didn't know why; that wasn't his intention. But then, neither was moving. The only live thing seemed to be Seiten Taisei's ridiculously long hair, swaying in the whispering breeze. Gold pierced violet, clashing, melding, drowning.

And perhaps it was due to the darkness and Sanzo's rapidly growing exhaustion, but he could have sworn there was a flicker of realization in Seiten Taisei's eyes.

Slowly, gingerly, as though moving any faster would shatter the mood and make Seiten Taisei snap, Sanzo got to his feet. Putting weight on his injured knee hurt like hell, but he managed to stay upright. The Smith & Wesson was still pointing toward the demon, directly at the diadem-free forehead. Both were breathing hard, raggedly, from exertion.

Seiten Taisei stepped forward. Sanzo cocked the gun.

"Konzen..."

The voice was raspy, as though it had rarely been used, or as though he were sick. Seiten Taisei continued to stare, and Sanzo was now drawing a blank. No reaction. Nothing. Nothing except...

_That damned _name_ again!_

He wasn't fooled. This still wasn't Goku; he was saying the wrong name to the wrong person. Sanzo's eyes narrowed, and he said this aloud, loudly so that it would be sure to drive through the moron's head. "Nice try."

Face twisting in fury, Seiten Taisei pounced.

Sanzo's knee nearly gave out beneath him, screaming in silent agony, but he willed himself to stand just long enough for the demon to start to crash into him. Clawed fingers started to grip his shoulders when Sanzo brought his free hand -- not the one holding the gun; another hit would cause worse brain damage than the monkey already had -- up, balled into a fist, and knocked his knuckles into Seiten Taisei's head. _Hard_. The force seemed to momentarily stun the demon, and Sanzo quickly took advantage of those few precious seconds. His lips moved quickly, no sound escaping, as he dropped the gun. His hand shot out, closing over the surprised golden eyes.

_For once in your life, you damned monkey, **stay still**!_

Perhaps Seiten Taisei realized the battle was lost. It was more likely he was too startled to do anything, actually, but it seemed very odd that he would just sit there while Sanzo completed the mantra.

When he drew his hand back, a new golden limiter was in place. The fangs and long hair vanished, the claws shrinking into normal human fingernails, bloodlust draining from golden eyes only to be replaced by drowsy confusion. Wobbling unsteadily, it only took Goku a couple moments to collapse, completely unconscious.

Being the generous man he was, Sanzo caught him.


	6. Chapter Six :: Epilogue

**:: The Becoming ::**

_Gensomaden__ Saiyuki_

Disclaimer: I don't own Gensomaden Saiyuki, which rightfully belongs to Minekura Kazuya.

Rating: PG-13

Pairings: Sanzo/Goku, hinted Gojyo/Hakkai

Warnings: language, shounen ai/yaoi, some violence

Notes: And now the end. I apologize if it seems too abrupt. ^^;

I'm delighted everyone seemed to like the last chapter, though. ^_^ I ought to write more about Seiten Taisei, huh?

Constructive criticism and feedback always appreciated. Thanks for all the support for this fic!

_Chapter Six/Epilogue_

The aftermath of being Seiten Taisei was never pleasant. It wasn't just that Sanzo always yelled at him, called him an idiot, and hit him repeatedly for acting so stupidly. No, those were normal occurrences with even small matters. It was the tension beforehand, the brief period of indifference that made Goku both frightened and sick.

He was woozy, and the feeling reminded him of the one time he had gotten drunk, only without the overhang. His head did hurt a little, but that was probably because he had a new diadem to get used to. He knew it was a new one, because when he had reached up to push away the hair in his eyes he hadn't felt any of the scrapes or cracks his other diadem had. He never knew what happened with the old one, but never asked questions. What was important was that he was back to normal; he was sane, and everyone was safe.

Still, he hadn't seen Sanzo all day, and he was tense.

By noon the dizzy feeling had faded and he was feeling oriented enough to bound downstairs for lunch. He and Gojyo launched right into another one of their squabbles, which Hakkai humored and Sanzo bluntly ignored. Once the blonde excused himself from the table, not once looking Goku's way, Goku felt his sudden burst of energy spend itself. He sat quietly eating, which seemed to disconcert Gojyo, and when asked he said that he still felt a bit sick. He hurried back upstairs to lie down.

Sanzo wasn't in the room.

That was something he had actually noted when he had woken up. Even without his asking, Hakkai had explained that a few rooms had become vacant that morning and Sanzo had moved into one of them as soon as he heard about it. That wasn't unusual. Goku had nodded, but couldn't help but feel a stab of hurt anyway.

That night, during dinner, Sanzo told them it was far past time they left this village. Everyone readily agreed; they had spent nearly a week there and it was only going to hurt their chances of completing the mission the longer they stayed.

Sometimes it was that easy to forget they even had a mission. It was easy to just think that all they were doing was traveling west, no real destination in mind. It was a lie, and Goku berated himself for even thinking it because it was like running away from the problem.

But he wasn't running. He was just trying to enjoy life while it lasted, and he couldn't do that if he was forced to think depressing thoughts-- or if Sanzo was dead. That was why, despite all they said, he would jump to Sanzo's aid if it meant saving his life.

He had to pause in the hallway, stilled by a passing image. He stepped back, peering at himself critically in the mirror. It was normal for him to come out all but unscathed after one of his rampages; usually whatever injuries he did sustain were just bruises, hidden by his clothes. This time, however, there were four large, visible gashes on the side of his face. They would stop hurting in a few day's time, and maybe by the end of next week they would be gone. Until then, he would have to put up with the physical reminder of what had happened.

That hurt.

Tired but not really sleepy, Goku finally made it to his room, shutting the door without bothering to light a candle. He was more emotionally tired than he was physically... and the constant ache in his heart was throbbing intensely, the way it always did after he went berserk-demon-mode on everyone. There was one thing that could alleviate the pain, and that was...

... Something he knew he would have to get over eventually.

That train of thought was the reason why he came to an abrupt halt halfway into the room, nearly toppling over in sheer surprise when he saw Sanzo sitting on his bed. The monk didn't stay there; once Goku noticed him he got to his feet, brushing past him to go outside. Since he was obviously meant to follow, Goku did. He didn't know where they were going or why Sanzo wanted to speak to him, but he also knew that if he didn't follow things would only end up getting worse before they got better.

Even before they came to a stop, Sanzo was speaking to him. "You lied to me."

Taken aback and puzzled, Goku's steps faltered momentarily. "What? When?" But Sanzo didn't stop, didn't answer, so he hurried to catch up. "When did I lie to you?" Goku demanded, stepping in the man's path when he still refused to answer. Narrowing his golden eyes, he demanded a third time, "When?"

Glaring back, Sanzo fairly growled, "Not telling me is the same as lying. You're hiding something, therefore deceiving me. You lied about Seiten Taisei the other night."

The other night... Goku stiffened, but didn't back down. "Why don't you kill me, then?" he asked, well aware that Sanzo would be able to detect the slight tremor in his voice. "You said you would."

Scoffing, Sanzo looked away. "You're not worth wasting a bullet on, stupid monkey."

Unsure of what to say to that, Goku finally lowered his eyes. Sanzo always tried to send mixed signals, but Goku liked to think that he was getting better and better at interpreting them-- and in this case, he was dead certain Sanzo was saying, in his round-about way, that he didn't want to kill him, all previous threats aside.

The rustle of cloth alerted Goku. His hand shot out without his thinking, grabbing a fistful of the monk's robes. The rustling stopped. When he looked up, Sanzo was watching him expectantly. It was up to Goku to speak, to bring up the subject-- because Sanzo was the last person that ever would.

Goku took a deep breath to harden his resolve, his grip on Sanzo's clothes tightening. "About... that night..."

"What about it?"

"Why'd you do it?"

Sanzo tried shaking the boy off, but when that didn't work, Goku found a surprisingly strong grip loosening his hold. His hand went lax beneath Sanzo's instantly; resistance only made things worse at this point.

"Why?" Sanzo repeated, his tone carrying that note of haughtiness he often used to throw the others off. "Why the hell do I need a reason?"

Goku's hand clenched into a fist under Sanzo's palm. "You _always_ have a reason," he insisted. "You do. You don't do things without thinking, especially when you tell me not to."

As he spoke Sanzo's hand dropped from his. Goku let his clenched fists fall to his side, tension thrumming through him like consistent drum beats, fast and intense and causing him to tremble as he desperately tried to recollect himself.

He visibly flinched when Sanzo's other hand came into view, but found the man simply tangling his fingers in brown hair, shoving Goku's head back and forcing him to look up. Sanzo's expression was set, his lips drawn in a flat line, eyes hard, scrutinizing, and closed off. Goku was unable to interpret what the man was thinking, even under the intense stare.

At last, Sanzo said, "If you don't die..."

Goku blinked. "What?"

The hand slid from his hair. "Ask me again later." Violet pierced him. "After this damned mission is over, ask me again and I'll answer-- if you live. So if you want an answer, you'd better not die."

_If I don't die, he'll..._ Goku was quicker than he was normally given credit for; he put the odd pieces of Sanzo's answer together. It was only half an answer, but it was more than he'd had before. Grinning, Goku nodded. "Yeah," he agreed. "You better not die, either."

"Tch. Like I'll let myself be killed before you."

There was nothing else to be said. Goku let the man walk past him, continuing to his room. The door shut behind him with a soft _click_, and only after that did Goku move as well. He didn't go back to his room; rather, he went straight for Sanzo's, knocking loudly, knowing it would annoy the man. "Sanzo!"

The door didn't open, but from the cross tone in the man's voice Goku could tell he was glaring. "What?"

"Until then, can I sleep in your room more often?"

Silence was his only answer, which wasn't surprising. It was a bold question, one that could easily get him shot down. Part of him wondered what he was doing, acting so rashly, but another more curious, more determined part wanted to know the answer.

At last, he heard Sanzo say in an unnaturally soft tone, "Go to bed, Goku."

Once again Sanzo was avoiding answering with either a yes or a no. Despite the answer, Goku found himself smiling. "Goodnight," he said, turning away. He didn't expect an answer. He wasn't going to get one. For now he was just going to erase the past few days from his mind; he wouldn't drag the memories up again until the day he needed them: the day he would ask his question again.

Goku went to sleep in his own bed.


End file.
